Wednesday, May 18, 2011

My Daddy's Name is Adoption - NOT!

In a recent Bionews article Vince Londini (a DC recipient parent) takes exception to the MDND report and one of the authors support of adoption but not donor conception.
His argument being that he views DC and adoption, due to some of the consequences of such actions as being comparable and therefore that the MDND authors viewpoint does not hold water. It is my opinion that his perception of both processes is narrow minded and fails to take into account a vital element. I posted a comment on the Bionews article but unless you are a member of that site you will not be able to see the comment so I have reposted it here: 

Mr Londini puts together a fairly convincing argument........on the surface. The flaw in his analysis is to compare adoption to donor conception on equal terms, on a comparing apples to apples basis.

Certainly, in both situations the child is deprived of one or both genetic parents. Certainly both groups shared similar outcomes in mental health, substance abuse and delinquency in the MDND report. Certainly the two groups share similarities which is even acknowledged by groups such as the Evan B Donaldson Adoption Institute. However, the key and most important difference is intent.

Adoption is used as a last resort to ameliorate, but not solve, the tragedy of an existing child whose biological parents are unable for whatever reason to care for it. In this situation the people who have created the child never intentionally set out to create one that would have to be relinquished for adoption. It occurs either through accidental conception or circumstance. Donor conception on the other hand is a completely different kettle of fish. Even prior to the childs conception which is deliberately preplanned, the intent is to separate and deprive the child of one or both biological connections. It is not the result of happenstance or circumstance.

While some of the outcomes for the child may have similarities, the premise of the two sitautions are not comparale.

It is completely understandable that Mr Londini would take exception to the MDND report as a recipient of donor conception practices. To agree with the conclusions would potentially create emotional trauma for himself. For those parents who have since undertaken donor conception and have come to the realisation (whether right or wrong) that their decision may have harmed their child in any way, it becomes a difficult and lifelong journey of assimilating and processing that concept. This statement is not a defence of the MDND report or its recommendations, nor is it a defence of adoption practices, just a statement that acknowledges the emotional and philosophical complexities of those who have made the decision to undergo donor conception.

6 Responses to "My Daddy's Name is Adoption - NOT!"

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It's not true that people gave up children for adoption because they couldn't do it themselves. Some just didn't want the responsibility, or the social stigma or worried about what their parents and so on might think. Sometimes they were married and had cheated. My own could have easily afforded to raise me if she'd wished to do so. Ironically I was given up by someone from a rich family and grew up in a very poor one. Just wanted to clear that up. Thanks.

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